Thoughts About Waiting

A Long Thoughts Post (I warned you…) . All of us seem to be searching for that thing. That thing that will make our lives epic, that will say we matter. Something bigger than ourselves and more the taking home a paycheck. . But that big dream never seems to happen when we want it to. Many times it comes almost imperceptibly. Little changes gradually affecting your life. . I was hoping I’d be further along than I am now. I’m not sure where, but I didn’t want to be back in this holding pattern again. I feel like I’ve been stutter stepping for 5 years. Waiting for that moment that would make all those small, everyday, imperceptible disciplines worth it. . LA was a big move. A risk. A leap. A lesson in trust. And I learned. I trusted. . That’s why I could make the decision to move back to Nebraska in November. It’s not what I wanted to do, but there was peace in it. Driving east through Arizona, I wondered if I would ever get to see the western horizon again. Would I ever get this adventure again? . I’ve always wanted to be based out of Nebraska and work remotely all over the country. For a year and half, I was able to live that out. But sometimes you have to make the adult decision to take care of your previous commitments and solidify your foundation before taking the next risk. Hopefully that foundation coupled with a risk will lead to the big moment making all the small moments make sense. Or not, but I still trust. And hope. . I’ve been in Nebraska for 6 months now, and I think I’ve finally accepted this fact. While I’m in the holding pattern, I plan, I prepare, I learn, I write, I make new friends, I stretch muscles I haven’t used. . The waiting is never wasted.

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