Today was one of my last weeks managing the Sunday morning production team at my home church.
I’ve been apart of the team for 10 years and managing it for about 8 years. I was 16 years old when I started. And I was so dedicated that when I went to college an hour away, I would come back on the weekends to run things Sunday mornings.
I invested a lot of time and energy into this. I love being apart of the bigger productions behind the scenes and working in a team to accomplish something bigger than any one person.
It’s because of that of that love that I’m stepping down to pursue something bigger than myself. To pursue a dream that I haven’t been able to shake for 11 years.
I’ve used this role as a way to hide. To hide from relationships with other people because I was always running things. And because it kept me so busy, I used it as an excuse for why I couldn’t pursue the bigger dream.
I don’t want to make excuses anymore. I want to start.
I’ve used this role as a security blanket. I’m ashamed to say that a lot of it has become muscle memory. I can run things without much thought and without much creativity.
I don’t want to be ashamed anymore. I want to grow.
Wait, this doesn’t sound like I’m proud of what I’ve done. That’s not true. Let me try this again.
I stumbled across this area when I was a junior in high school trying to figure out what else I was good at besides school work.
It gave me a place to belong.
It gave me a place to belong and stretch my creativity.
It gave me the confidence to go to college and major in an area I had no previous experience.
It was an area that I could use my gifts within my home church.
It showed me that I was a leader.
It allowed me to work with and lead some of the most amazing people.
After 10 years of being apart of a production team that I have use to identify myself with, I’m stepping away to pursue something bigger that I don’t even know what it is. Exciting? Yes. Unknown? Yes.
But it’s an adventure. And we could all use a little more adventure in our lives.